wish you happy

After my relationship with Adrian and after a period of time, I am better in a sense that I am able to accept what had happened. The fact that my relationship with Adrian did not worked out has been an experience for me. I still like this man but what is the point. All I want from him now is his happiness. The happiness that I could not give but believes that there is someone out there could give him happiness. As long as he is happy then I will be happy too.

We chatted last night and he is having a hard time with Joanne. I thought he was at the cloud nine with her but it was the opposite. He had a difficult time to forgive and accept the mistake that Joanne did. It has been two years since that “mistake”, yet he just could not forget it. He is holding the grudge too tight that it was complicated for him to love Joanne like other couple did. When asked whether he loved her, he admitted it but his actions don’t show. He controls her too much. He wants her to be perfect, to look at him and only him.

No matter what Joanne did to gain back his trust and love, he still could forgive her. He knows that Joanne is a white t-shirt that is stained with a black dot but he just do not understand why she behave in a way that he could accept. He must let go of the past in order to move on happily with her. I am afraid that two of them are not happy together. Well, before he told me anything, I thought that they were happy loving each other but it turns out their problem is still the same since two years ago. If he did not accept Joanne whole heartedly, they will end this relationship. I believe that Joanne loves him but there is always a limit. I don’t think she will be able to tolerate his behavior of wanting to bring back the “mistake” after 2 years.

He told me that he has feeling for her when he was with me last night. I knew it… that is why he mentioned and compared Joanne and me most of the time when we were together.Right now it doesn’t mean that he cheated on me but it is about his possessive feeling. He is holding too tight on her and could stop thinking about that incident. I am so afraid that he would do something stupid to hurt himself. I am so afraid because he has the potential to do so.

knowing that he is unhappy doesn't make me feel any better. I still care about this man as a friend. A special I bet...