What happen to me?

After the Raya holiday, I don't feel any connection with him anymore. I felt I am really going to be jilted by him. I am extremely worried but at the same time, I am prepared. I am very clear that the process of washing away the feeling towards him is going to be torturing. I really want to ask him this, "Did I wait for the right person? Is it worth it to wait for you? tell me everything so that I know what you think." I really want to make myself clear so that I wont be an idiot. But I don't have the courage yet. One day, I believe I am going to own it and ask right in his face.

Not forget to mention that I knew very well he is busy doing his assignments and his music. He had to prepare a lot for the Musical Night. Maybe just leave him alone would be better so that he stayed focus. Yet if I do that, he will think I forget about him or doesn't have the feeling towards him. Despite the fact that I am a friend to him, I can't say much. I just have to stay where I am and stick to my studies. Nevertheless, I could not understand why he just couldn't make me feel SAFE EMOTIONALLY while he was busy. I hate him for that and I hate myself too because being so stubborn. I shouldn't hang out with him and text him. I should have going for my own business.

During the holidays, when he knew that I had loss my daddy, he did comfort me using his own way. He is so childish but it help to make me feel better. That's why I like him. But later on, he seldom stay in contact with me and that worried me. come on.......i really should wake up........WAKE UP......... I think right now friends plays an important role. Luckily, I had friends to support me.

During these few weeks, I hardly text him because a lot of things happen. I miss him so much. I am aware that I shouldn't. Yet whenever I am tired or have a free slot, he occupied my mind. I really wanted to get rid of him because I am afraid one day I would be more suffer. Like I said before, IT IS ALWAYS EASIER TO SAY THAN DONE. All I need to do is to be strong and independent. If others can do it, so do I. Let us just watch and see how I am going to move on.