It’s Christmas time. It was a happy day. I enjoyed myself while we went visiting. It was all about food actually. Taste really good for our first house of the day but it was not that delicious while we went to the second house. And I discovered something too, when we are hungry, all food that you like or hate will taste really delicious. As long as there is still empty space in my tummy, food is irresistible. But when we are already full, even the best chef’s cooking will be tasteless. I even don’t bother to take a bite at it.
I was having an awesome time with my family members especially with my cousin. We chatted about this and that. The topic that I liked the most was about boys and girls thingy. And also that was the first time she tells me about her love life. I regretted because we did not get the chance to meet and talk about it earlier. Because of that, I had been wasted my energy and feeling to think about certain stuff. Stuff that I supposed to know earlier. I guess I was staying under my coconut shell and did not aware of what was going on.
She told me about how she knew her boyfriend and what had they had gone through. I was really shocked. I never thought she had done that. What happen to her? My first expression was “Are you thinking at that time?” Although I am just her cousin, I felt disappointed of her. If her parents find out, she would be dead by now. That was self- destruction, dear. I can’t say anything since for her, it was okay. And she said it would strengthen their relationship and they are doing fine though they did quarrel sometimes. Goodness Gracious…
For her, it was an ordinary thing that would occur in a relationship. It is. Everyone has the urge to experience it. I have it too. I am not sure of myself right now. Since everyone does it, why couldn’t I? OMG…..What am I thinking?? But I clearly know that, it is totally wrong to do that. Speaking of this issue, it is getting more common among teenagers nowadays. To tell the truth, I am tempted to it too. It seduces me after the gathering. It keeps lingering in my mind. Because of that, I am fear that I will break my principle. However, I hope I am aware of what I am doing. Paradoxically, I don’t use my brain at all especially when I am being emotional. I really need to have my own foundation and promised not to break it.
I will pray harder this time to ask for His strength to resist this temptation. Because I know 5 years would be extremely long and difficult if God is not with us. Sometimes, things don’t come and go as you wish even though how hard you pray. However, I will lay my worries down to Him because the Mighty One is everywhere or He is trying to test my patience. Be patience….be patience… at the same time, I am very blessed to have this particular guy as my boyfriend. I like his attitude of being frank actually. Why?? Because I can get a clear picture of what he is saying and don’t have to make wild guesses every time. Yet his voice is pleasant to hear and gentle. I wish to be like him too. I want to be frank too….:D
Back to this….Honestly, I don’t want to do something wrong behind my elders’ back anymore. There is still guilt inside of me. I despise myself for being disobedient. At the same time, I am afraid I will easily fall astray into this perfect-but-not world. Bad things are always attractive and fun yet not all good things are attractive and fun. So, be wise and pray harder this time....Thanks to her because she had made this gathering "interesting" and informative....
No comments:
Post a Comment